The Carpet Matches The Drapes-Women's Semi-Fitted Tee

The Carpet Matches The Drapes-Women's Semi-Fitted Tee

$32.00 USD
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Smartass Goods Women's Semi-Fitted Tee Size Guide

THE FINE PRINT, MINUS THE BORING BULLSHIT

Wrong size? We can work with that.

Size exchange requests must be submitted within 14 days of carrier-confirmed delivery. Exchanges are limited to one per item and must be for the same item in a different size.

Items must be unworn except for trying on, unwashed, undamaged, and in resellable condition. You’re responsible for return shipping, and approved exchanges are subject to a 25% Size Exchange Fee, plus or minus any price difference for the new size.

Please don’t send anything back until your exchange has been approved and you’ve received return instructions.

Damaged, defective, misprinted, or incorrect items are handled separately at no cost to you.

To submit a size exchange request, click HERE.

View our full Exchanges & Returns Policy in the footer menu under Terms & Policies for all the fine print.

This shirt is for the woman who appreciates a classic question, a well-timed double entendre and leaving just enough to the imagination. Bold, cheeky and impossible to misread once the joke lands, this one turns an old expression into a perfectly inappropriate conversation starter for anyone confident enough to wear the answer right across her chest.

Printed on a ridiculously comfortable softstyle tee made with 100% ring-spun cotton, this semi-fitted shirt skims the body for a flattering look without feeling tight and delivers its punchline with just the right mix of sass and suggestion. Some things are better left to the imagination unless, of course, you feel like clearing up the mystery.

Available in sizes S-2X. Available in black or white shirts.

Also available in a classic tee and women's relaxed v-neck shirt.

A women's black semi-fitted short-sleeve crew neck t-shirt with white chalk-style text arranged on three lines: 'THE CARPET' on the top line, 'MATCHES' in smaller script-style text on the middle line between two horizontal white lines, and 'THE DRAPES' on the bottom line. The left sleeve is tagged with the brand's logo and a QR code.
  • A women's black semi-fitted short-sleeve crew neck t-shirt with white chalk-style text arranged on three lines: 'THE CARPET' on the top line, 'MATCHES' in smaller script-style text on the middle line between two horizontal white lines, and 'THE DRAPES' on the bottom line. The left sleeve is tagged with the brand's logo and a QR code.
  • A women's white semi-fitted short-sleeve crew neck t-shirt with black chalk-style text arranged on three lines: 'THE CARPET' on the top line, 'MATCHES' in smaller script-style text on the middle line between two horizontal black lines, and 'THE DRAPES' on the bottom line. The left sleeve is tagged with the brand's logo and a QR code.

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