Shipping Policy
Shipping, Delivery & Where the Hell Is My Merch ?
Last updated: November 1, 2026
Thanks for shopping with Smartass Goods.
Every Smartass Goods item is made especially for you after you order it. We don't have a giant warehouse full of smartass shirts sitting around waiting for someone to claim them.
That means your order goes through production first and shipping second.
This policy explains what happens between clicking Buy and your new favorite shirt showing up at your door.
Made to Order Means Made to Order
Smartass Goods products are printed on demand.
After you place an order, we allow a 24-hour cancellation window before releasing eligible items for production. Once that window has passed, your order is sent for production and fulfillment.
Production time is separate from shipping time, so your total delivery time includes:
24-hour order processing period + Production time + Carrier transit time = When your shit actually gets there.
Production times can vary depending on the product, order volume, holidays and other circumstances affecting our fulfillment partners.
We’ll send you a shipping confirmation and tracking information when your order leaves the fulfillment facility, when tracking is available.
Shipping Methods & Estimated Delivery Times
Available shipping methods, rates and estimated transit times are shown at checkout.
Please remember that the delivery estimate shown for a shipping method generally refers to the time your package spends in transit after production is complete.
Delivery dates and transit times are estimates, not guarantees.
Once a package is in the carrier's hands, delays can happen because of weather, holidays, carrier volume, transportation problems and other circumstances outside our control.
We wish we controlled the postal system.
We do not.
Shipping Costs
Shipping charges are calculated at checkout based on factors such as your destination, order contents and available shipping method.
If free or promotional shipping is available for an order, we'll show that before you complete your purchase.
No shipping-charge scavenger hunt required.
Tracking Your Order
Once your order ships, we'll send you a shipping confirmation email with a tracking number or tracking link when the shipping method supports tracking.
Tracking information may take a little time to update after the carrier receives your package, so don't panic if the tracking page initially looks like your shirt has entered another dimension.
Give the carrier's system a little time to catch up.
Where We Ship
We currently ship Smartass Goods orders within the United States.
If we expand shipping to additional countries or territories in the future, available destinations and any applicable shipping options will be shown at checkout.
Check Your Damn Address
Please carefully review your shipping address before submitting your order.
Because our products are made to order and fulfillment can begin quickly, we cannot guarantee that an address can be changed after your order has been submitted.
If you notice an error, contact us at info@smartassgoods.com as soon as possible.
We'll do what we can if production or fulfillment hasn't progressed too far, but we cannot guarantee changes.
Smartass Goods is not responsible for delivery problems resulting from an incorrect or incomplete address provided by the customer, except where applicable law requires otherwise.
Lost or Seriously Delayed Packages
If tracking indicates that your package is lost, appears stuck for an unreasonable amount of time or shows another delivery problem, contact us at info@smartassgoods.com.
We'll help investigate the issue with the applicable fulfillment provider or shipping carrier and determine the appropriate next step.
Please understand that once an order is in transit, carrier delays are generally outside Smartass Goods' control.
But we're not going to tell you, “Not our problem,” and disappear into the night.
If something genuinely goes sideways, let us know.
Damaged, Defective or Incorrect Orders
If your order arrives damaged, defective or contains the wrong item, that's a different problem—and one we want to fix.
Contact us at info@smartassgoods.com within 30 days of delivery and include:
- your order number;
- a brief description of the problem; and
- clear photos showing the damaged, defective or incorrect item.
-
We'll review the issue and work to make it right.
Order Changes & Cancellations
Need to cancel? You have 24 hours after placing your order to submit a cancellation request.
Use the link in your order confirmation email to access your order. You do not need to have created a customer account when you made your purchase. If you’re not already signed in, you’ll be prompted to enter the email address used for your order, and Shopify will send you a one-time verification code so you can securely access your customer account and submit the request.
Once the 24-hour cancellation window has passed, your order is released for production and can no longer be cancelled.
If you need a different size, color or item and are still within the cancellation window, cancel the original order and place a new one with the correct selections.
Once an order has shipped, we cannot modify the shipping address, products or shipping method.
Any approved refund for a cancelled order will be returned to the original payment method.
Changing Your Mind Isn't a Shipping Problem
Because Smartass Goods products are printed on demand, we do not accept standard returns for refunds because you selected the wrong color, changed your mind or decided three days later that maybe Grandma wasn’t ready for that particular shirt.
Wrong size? That’s different. Eligible items may qualify for a size exchange if the request is submitted within 14 days of carrier-confirmed delivery and meets the conditions of our Size Exchange program.
Please review product details, colors and our size guides carefully before ordering.
Our complete size exchange process is explained in our Exchange Policy.
Questions, Problems & “Where the Hell Is My Shirt?”
If you have a shipping or delivery question, email us at:
Include your order number when possible. It makes finding your shit considerably easier.